The journey to my dreams has been one of wonder and magic so far. Most of it has been filled with a lot of hard work and messy bits with relationships with people before you get to see the magic. Sometimes it’s so easy to forget all the little details that are left along the way to show you how much you’ve grown or how closer you are to your dreams.
I had a new client last month and had to deal with new environment. I was dreading the new job because it was going to be another case of meeting people who don’t want to be around me and are going to make my life a living hell. Oh boy, here comes the awkwardness again, I thought. I was getting stress pimples just at the thought of it.
I walked into my new client’s space and to my shock I found smiles, I found people wanted to speak to me. I found that I could relate to them and they could relate to me. I found that the more they discovered I could speak more than one language, it made their day which went on to make mine. I found that the entire cafeteria of ladies could relate to me, ladies who remind me of people in the neighbourhood I am from. There was something me and these ladies and men could talk about and be able to share knowledge on. It made my stay there so wonderful, and how much more wonderful is it when the people who like you are the people who make your food. From the interactions, I get to find new dreams to work on, I learn of a new group of people I can help and a new bunch of considerations I can add to my running projects and dreams with Jam Jar.
For the longest time, I’d lived believing I was not likeable or approachable. I always thought people only dealt with me when they felt they needed to. In a room full of people, I would not be the first person you would talk to – Reason being, I’m a wallflower, straight out introvert.
In relationships, I always believed that I was the terrible person because I couldn’t handle my introversion well. So when relationships with, family, friends and men would bum out, I would blame myself and swiftly walk away, believing I was the one ruining things.
It turns out, that is not how things are. It turns out, people want to be around me. Lately, people walk up to me and want to have conversations with me. People want to know my name, they want to hear my story. They want to laugh with me.
I met Telise at a train station, she was buying a ticket and I asked her help with regards to directions with where I was going. It was my first time buying a ticket there and I didn’t really know how it worked. She helped me out and we ended up in the same shuttle because she happened to work in the building right next to me. Her work involves environmental resources managing. She’s super stunning and super humble, the sweetest girl you’ll ever meet. We agree to have lunch some time. I struggle with follow through with people because ‘Introvert’ But I convince myself there’s something about this girl that makes me want to be her friend. So I invite her for lunch and it turns out she’s everything. Everything in the sense that she’s genuinely kind, and smart and a giver. She’s a big sister, and she has these dreams – I mean she’s pushed her life so far ahead for someone as young as her and you can’t help but just sit there in the magic of it all and float in her light.
And I wonder about that day. If I had ignored her and went past to go buy my ticket by myself I wouldn’t have met this magic who wants to work with me and checks up on me and whom I want to check up on. I would’ve figured out how to get the ticket myself, no doubt, but I would have missed out on such an important energy in my life.
I can walk into a room and brighten it. These are dreams I never thought I could make come true. My life is so much better now that I feel I finally have the cooperation of other people and that the energy can be good. I know the dream was that I could get better at my people skills, what I didn’t know was that it should have been to get better at knowing myself. That in knowing myself and understanding my introversion, not as a weakness, but as my most prized trait, I could actually have all the people I need in my life and I would never go a day believing people didn’t want to deal with me.
You’re a good person, just because you don’t know how to handle everything right now doesn’t mean you always won’t. Just because other people don’t like you, doesn’t make you any less talented and remarkable. Because let’s face it, not everyone can like you.
Maybe you’re not a bad person after all. Maybe people want to be your friend. Maybe it’s better to be open than to close up completely. Maybe you meet the best people your life has needed when you walk up to strangers and say, ‘Hello.’